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Tips on Teaching Etiquette and Civility

The following tips are guided by two fundamental approaches to teaching etiquette to all children:

1. Know what to expect, then expect it. Children can only do what they are capable of, developmentally – based on what they have learned and mastered. If they have not been taught good manners, don’t expect it of them. Having good manners is learned behavior.

2. Parents, teachers and other adults should always behave the way they want children to behave. Children learn the most form watching their parents and other adults around them. Show them respect and consideration and be honest in the kindest way possible. Remember the old adage – Actions speak louder then words. Respect, Consideration and Honesty are the universal principles of etiquette and good manners, regardless of race, culture or creed.

Teaching good manners and civility to youth is above all a parental responsibility. School and community can and should play a supporting role. Sometimes they have to take the lead role.

TIPS

1. Lead by example. Children mirror the behavior of adults around them

2. Stress the principles upon which etiquette and good manners are built

3. Teach the importance of thinking of others

4. Teach the Golden Rule – the art of considerate conduct

5. Involve parents and family in all school and community programs

6. Integrate good manners into everyday teaching

7. PTAs, community and individuals can help design and build programs to teach and reinforce good manners.

8. Develop school or community-wide etiquette/civility campaigns that create “buy in” among youth. Focus on the following areas that make connections for youth:

a. Fun – it is a language children understand

b. Relationships – life is relational, know how to get along with people

c. College/Career – applications, letters, interviews, greetings, shared spaces

d. Social conduct - driving, dining, entertainment, communication (verbal and non-verbal)

e. Image/appearance – first impressions – smart cool – the language of attire

f. Performance and achievement – good manners is part of the language of success

g. Benefits – what’s in for me - good character, self-respect, self-confidence, better citizen, friend and family member. Having good manners is good for you.

TIPS for parents and teachers

Teach – not reprimand
Rephrase
Accept mistakes and correct privately
Strengthen the caring link between parent and child – show them you care
Don’t glorify bad behavior
Teach children about people who demonstrate good manners and kindness
Be clear and above all, consistent
Reward good behavior

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